


Bowstrings and Velvet

by EMorgaine



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-03-31 00:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3957067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EMorgaine/pseuds/EMorgaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shae Cousland was not the Warden, but survived the attack on Highever. A year after the blight she entered a marriage of convenience with King Alistair, who still loved the Hero of Ferelden, whom he could not marry. It's been ten years, and there's a hole in the sky, the Inquisition has been founded and Shae is married to someone who is basically a stranger to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_Denerim Castle, Ferelden_

_9:31 Dragon_

“So you see, that’s why this can never be more than a marriage of convenience.”

            Shaeanne Cousland nodded slowly as she watched her king, Alistair Theirin, pace from one end of the little room to the other. Repeatedly. He was embarrassed, she could tell, but determined to make sure she knew the situation. It wasn’t as if she had ever imagined that this would be anything other than a political move on her brother’s part, and a necessity for the King. He needed heirs after all. And for heirs, one needed a wife. A queen.

            That Alistair was in love with the Warden-Commander, the Hero of Ferelden, was probably the worst kept secret in all of Ferelden. Even so, she had to commend him for doing the honourable thing in being honest with her about it. Theirs was a union of convenience. A means to an end. Shae had never had any grand plans about finding the love of her life, or living happily ever after, so it suited her just fine.

            Truth be told, she was still happy to be alive. When Arl Howe had attacked Highever, she should have died. But her parents had sacrificed their lives to allow her to escape. Their deaths should not be in vain. Now she would be queen, and she would make them proud. She’d never wanted this, but she would be the best queen she knew how. Her bow and arrows lay forgotten in a storage somewhere, and there they would remain. This is what her parents would have wanted for her.

            “Do you understand?” Alistair had stopped pacing now and was standing before her. She supposed she could do worse in the husband department. The king was a handsome man, well-built with broad shoulders and a strong chest.

            “I do, Your Majesty,” Shae said demurely, bobbing a curtsy. Her mother had always encouraged her to be a proper lady, and while she’d ignored her most of the time, she did remember some of the lessons. People were going to believe that she was a proper lady even if it killed her.

            Alistair raked a hand through his dark blond hair, obviously uneasy. “I know it’s an awkward situation…” he said, his voice apologetic.

            “I understand,” Shae repeated, putting her hand on his armour-clad arm in reassurance. Looking up to meet his eyes, wanting him to know she was serious, she continued. “Your heart is not in this. How could it be? We don’t know each other. I have no youthful dreams of us riding off into the sunset together. You’ve promised your heart to another. This is a marriage of convenience that will give my brother the political brunt that he needs, and you will gain a wife of noble birth. Everyone wins.”

            The King looked at her, his amber eyes searching hers. “Except you,” he said quietly. “That was a great speech. But nowhere in there did I hear you getting what _you_ want.”

            Shae swallowed, trying to keep the grief wanting to overwhelm her at bay. “My parents are gone,” she finally said, her voice calmer than she’d expected. “My sister-in-law and nephew murdered in cold blood. The only relative I have left is my brother, and he has no idea what to do with me. I know my parents would have approved of this match.”

            “I’m sorry for your loss,” Alistair said, reaching out to touch her. He sounded so solemn, so sincere.

            Stepping back, out of his reach, she shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “But… I…” She sighed. “Please, let’s not talk about it.”

            Alistair nodded, respecting her wishes, though she suspected he wanted to discuss it further. “At least the bastard is dead now,” he muttered under his breath, and she knew he was referring to Arl Howe.

            They were quiet for a moment. Finally, Shae took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. “I promise that I will be the perfect wife, and not get in your way.”

            Frowning, Alistair shook his head. “That’s not what I said…”

            “I’m sorry,” Shae said quickly. “That was uncalled for. I just want you to know that I have no intention of getting in the way of you and…”

            “Very well,” Alistair cut her off before she could continue. Then he smiled, and sketched a bow. “So, Lady Cousland… Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

            Finding his smile infectious, she smiled back and curtsied. “It would be my honour, Your Majesty.”


	2. Chapter 1

_The Hinterlands, Ferelden_

_9:41 Dragon_

Shae looked at the stranger that was her husband where he was sitting on the other side of the carriage. Alistair was staring out the window, his gaze pensive. She wondered what he was thinking about. They were on their way back home after paying a visit in Redcliffe Castle to deal with the Rebel Mages.

            Turning away from the window to resume reading the missives resting in his lap, Alistair caught her looking at him, and ignored the papers. “I’m glad you decided to join me,” he said. “It’s been ages since you left Denerim.”

            “I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Duncan with only nannies when he was so young,” Shae reminded him, having used that excuse many times to avoid going with him when he travelled. Before their three year old she’d used other excuses. Anything to avoid time alone with him, really. It wasn’t that she disliked her husband. She just didn’t want to get to know him. It was safer that way.

            “I know,” Alistair said, a smile playing on his lips at the thought of his son. “I can’t blame you. He’s delightful.”

            Their son was the one thing they had in common, and it tugged at her heartstrings when she saw Alistair’s complete devotion to the little boy. So much that she often had to leave the room and let them play by themselves. The last thing she wanted was to have feelings for her husband.

            “Still,” Alistair continued, bringing her back from her thoughts. “I’m glad that you decided to join. We spend such little time together.”

            _For good reason._ Shae ignored the thought and smiled blandly. She’d do well to remember that her husband’s heart belonged to someone else. No matter how handsome she might find him, or how wonderful a person she might think he was. Not that she did, she reminded herself. Her feelings for Alistair was nothing but polite interest since he was her husband and the father of her child. Platonic. Nothing else.

            “Had you ever been to Redcliffe before?” Alistair asked, refusing to give up on having a conversation.

            “Only in passing. I understand that you grew up there?”

            “Oh yes, Arl Eamon took me in when I was a child and raised me. That is, until they sent me to the Chantry of course, at the age of ten. The rest is, as they say, history. Still, Redcliffe will always have a place in my heart. I’m glad that we were able to save it from the undead during the Blight.” He smiled wistfully at the memories.

            Shae looked out the window at the passing landscape. Everyone knew the story of Alistair and the Hero of Ferelden. They’d rallied the forces of the elves, dwarves and humans to defeat the Archdemon and end the blight. In the process they’d touched a lot of lives, not least those of Arl Eamon’s family in Redcliffe who they’d saved from an onslaught of undead. Not to mention having exorcised a demon possessing Arl Eamon’s son.

            “Do you think I was too harsh on them?” Alistair suddenly asked, forcing her to turn back to him. He was frowning now. It took her a moment to realise that he was talking about the Mages that he’d just exiled.

            “They had kicked your uncle out of his own castle,” she said slowly, surprised by being asked her opinion. “It seems only fair that you would ask them to leave and offer no assistance.”

            “I don’t know,” Alistair sighed. “I feel a little guilty. While obviously I couldn’t allow them to stay and continue to take over Redcliffe Castle, I may have been a little harsh. The current situation is anything but good, what with Mages and Templars fighting each other... The Conclave exploding...”

            He ran a hand through his dark blond hair, looking troubled. Shae fought an urge to reach out and touch him, to reassure him.

            “The Inquisition offered them refuge,” she said. “I think that they will be fine.”

            “You certainly chose the right time to go with me on a trip,” Alistair said with a sheepish grin. “Everyone is running wild, there’s apparently a big hole in the sky… If I hadn’t planned on bringing a contingent of soldiers for this, I’d not have let you come. Still, I am glad that you are here.”

            She really wished that he would stop saying that. Every now and then he would try to become friends, and every time she had to find a way to thwart it. He was a man that it would be too easy to fall in love with, and as such, he was the last man she wanted to be friendly with. Fortunately it was easy to keep the distance when you knew that your husband loved someone else.

            “Shae?”

            Alistair’s soft query jerked her out of her reverie and she realised that she’d tuned him out. “I beg your pardon,” she murmured. “I was lost in thought.”

            “Apparently,” he replied with a smile, though his eyes searched hers for a better answer.

            Looking away, she motioned towards the stack of missives still sitting in his lap. “Please,” she said. “Don’t let me delay you from your work.”

            Alistair smiled sardonically. “And dismissed.”

            Shae stared at him. “Excuse me?”

            Giving her an innocent smile, he said blithely, “Oh, nothing. I will deal with these now.” He grabbed the stack of papers, and she nodded. For a few minutes Alistair rifled through the missives, before suddenly piling them all together and placing them next to him on the seat.

            “Actually,” he said. “No. I’m not going to do that. You’re stuck in a carriage with me, so I think this is the perfect time to chat.”

            Shae smiled pleasantly. “Your Majesty, we chat all the time.”

            Alistair shook his head. “No, and I’ve told you to call me Alistair. I hardly think that discussing the weather and if the steak is too salty is considered a proper conversation.”

            “Alistair…” It sounded far too intimate on her tongue. There was a reason she never called him by name. “My King,” she amended, making him scowl. “What would you like to discuss?”

            Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair again, mussing it up. “I don’t know,” he complained. “Anything. Everything. Don’t you think it’s strange that we’ve been married nearly ten years and we barely know one another?”

            Part of her wanted to argue. The part of her who knew how he would tussle their son’s hair every night before bed. The part that knew how his nose would crinkle when something displeased him. How his laughter was so contagious when he found something funny that she had to restrain herself from laughing too, even if she didn’t find it funny herself. But the other part of her agreed with him, _needed_ to agree with him.

            “Ours is a marriage of convenience,” Shae reminded him, her voice not unkind. “It’s what we both wanted.”

            Alistair looked at her for a moment without saying anything, making her squirm in her seat.

“Is it?” he finally asked quietly.

            She was saved from answering by the arrow that suddenly came flying through the open carriage window.


	3. Chapter 2

Before she could process what was happening and react, Shae found herself tugged to the floor with Alistair protectively hovering above her.

            “Stay down!” he hissed when she tried to raise her head to peer out the window. “We’re under attack.”

            The unmistakable sounds of battle could be heard from outside the carriage. The clanking of the soldier’s armour protecting them from blows, weapons hitting each other and the soft swoosh of arrows.

            “Who’s attacking us?” Shae asked, unnerved by the tremble in her voice.

            “I don’t know,” Alistair said through clenched teeth as he ducked from another arrow flying through the carriage. “Could be highwaymen, could be something worse.”

            “They’re pretty bold to be attacking a carriage with an armed guard,” Shae remarked.

            “That’s what worries me. I never should have removed my armour,” he cursed himself. “It’s just so damned uncomfortable when sitting down.”

            The door to the carriage flew open and Terryn, the captain of Alistair’s guard waved for them to come outside. His armour was stained by blood, and his left arm was hanging at an odd angle.

            “Get out!” he yelled. “We can’t hold them back, there’s too many. You need to flee! We have two horses ready for you, and will try to hold them off as long as we can. But you must leave now!”

            “No,” Alistair protested. “I won’t leave my men!”

            “Your Majesty,” Terryn urged. “You have no armour, and a son to return to. Leave, now – and make it back to Denerim in one piece. We will fight them for as long as we can, maybe we can eventually win. But we can’t risk you and your wife.”

            It looked as if Alistair wanted to argue further, but was forced to pull Shae out of harm’s way when a man came charging at them with his sword raised. Terryn blocked him with his shield, knocking the man to the ground.

            Looking back at them, he yelled, louder now. “Leave! Before it’s too late!”

            Alistair nodded grimly, and made his way towards the two horses that had been readied for them. They had to step over bodies of fallen men, and there was so much blood. Shae couldn’t help but stare. The quiet country road had turned into a battlefield, with men fighting all around her. Her breath was coming quicker, and her heart was beating wildly in her chest. It was almost as if she was back in Highever on that fatal night. If Alistair hadn’t dragged her by the arm, she may have stood still and done nothing.

            Bending down and grabbing a shield and sword from one of the men on the ground, Alistair used it to bash another attacker coming for them. Without his hand on her, Shae found herself standing still, unable to move. The sounds of the battle echoing through her head, the tangy smell of blood stinging her nostrils. She closed her eyes, trying to shut it out, but only managed to evoke a vision of her sister-in-law and young nephew lying dead on the floor of their room. So much death…

            “Shae!”

            Alistair’s voice brought her back, and she opened her eyes to see him under attack again, a second man closing in on him from behind. Without thinking, she grabbed a bow and quiver from one of the dead and put an arrow in the approaching man’s head. Having managed to knock out the other attacker, Alistair turned his head to stare at her.

            “I used to be pretty good with a bow and arrow,” she explained with a shrug.

            “I’d say that ‘pretty good’ is something of an understatement,” Alistair remarked dryly, then promptly ducked from an arrow. “Anyway, I think that discussion will have to wait. Let’s go!”

            Finally able to move, Shae ran with him to the horses and he hoisted her up on one of them, then got on the other one himself. With a final, sad glance back at his soldiers he then smacked the back of Shae’s horse to set it in motion, spurring his to follow.

            “The forest,” he called after her. “We need the cover.”

 

*****

 

It was nightfall by the time they stopped to make camp by a small stream. They’d travelled in the water, allowing the current to wash away their tracks, and Alistair finally seemed content to believe that anyone following them would be far behind. Shae was exhausted, she’d not been on a horse for such a long period of time since before her marriage. When Alistair came to help her down, she literally fell into his arms. He steadied her by wrapping his arms around her.

            For a moment she allowed herself to close her eyes and feel safe in his arms. He was warm and firm, smelling lightly of the sandalwood soap she knew he favoured, but now it was mixed with the smell of horses and blood. Steeling herself, she pulled away from his embrace and turned to unsaddle her horse. Alistair’s hand on hers stilled her movements.

            “Let me do that,” he said softly. “You can barely stand upright.”

            Shae shook her head. “I want to help.”

            “Then find us some firewood,” Alistair suggested as he started undoing the straps of the saddle. “I think we’re far enough away that we can risk a small fire to warm us through the night.”

            Grateful to have something to occupy herself with, Shae walked around the closest bit of the forest and collected twigs, small branches and some moss. When she returned to Alistair he had unsaddled both horses and was busy rubbing them down. The saddles were lying on the ground together with a couple of saddlebags and rolled up blankets. Rummaging through the saddlebags, Shae was happy to find flint and tinder to start a fire.

            By the time Alistair was done tending to the horses she had a small fire going, and had found some bread in one of the other bags. She silently offered him a piece of bread as he came to sit next to her. They ate in companionable silence, Shae spending most of it staring into the crackling flames.

            “So…” Alistair finally ventured. “I didn’t know that you’re an archer.”

            “Was,” Shae quietly corrected him. “I haven’t fired one since the Blight.”

            “And here I thought I’d married a demure lady of leisure,” Alistair joked, smiling now.

            “It’s what I am.”

            “Maybe,” Alistair allowed. “But you’re a lot more than that.”

            Shae gathered her mass of auburn hair and brought it over her shoulder, braiding it slowly. It was something she did often to occupy her hands. “When I was young I wanted to be a knight,” she admitted, too tired to keep up the wall she usually maintained whenever Alistair was around. “I wanted to fight during the Blight. You’d rarely see me without my bow and quiver. When my brother went to war I was so disappointed. I had wanted to go with him.”

            “Why didn’t you?” Alistair asked, popping another piece of bread into his mouth.

            “My father needed me to stay behind to take care of Highever. With him and Fergus gone, there was no one else he said. Personally I think my mother would have been more than capable. I think they just wanted me safe, and to act like more of a proper lady.”

            “For what it’s worth, you seem to be a very proper lady these days,” Alistair offered. “Maybe too proper.”

            Shae glanced up at him. “I don’t think there is such a thing as too proper.”

            “Oh,” Alistair retorted, his amber eyes mirthful. “But there is.”

            Deciding to ignore him, Shae bit off another piece of bread.

            “So, when did you stop using your bow?”

            “There wasn’t much need for it in Denerim. My brother brought me there to be a lady, to be a Queen. I left my bow and arrow behind.”

            “You’re very proficient,” Alistair complimented her.

            “I was,” she agreed. “It’s been ten years, so I doubt I’m nearly as good as I used to be.”

            “You saved my life, so good enough, I’d say.”

            Their gazes met, and Shae felt like she wanted to lean into him. Allow herself to be held, comforted. Quickly breaking eye contact, she busied herself with putting the remaining bread back into a saddlebag.

            “I’m going to get some sleep,” she murmured. “Wake me up in a few hours, and I will keep watch while you sleep.”

            “As you wish, my Queen,” Alistair quipped.


	4. Chapter 3

Shae watched as Alistair slept on one of the blankets, head against a saddle. It was approaching dawn, and she would have to wake him up soon so that they could continue their journey. They were several days from Denerim, and without knowing who had attacked them, there was no way of knowing who could be trusted.

            It was strange to realise that this was the first time she’d seen her husband sleep. He’d shared her bed of course, since the main reason for their marriage was to create an heir to the throne. But it had been brief couplings with no emotions, and afterwards he’d always gone back to his own bedchamber. There may have been times when he’d tried to kiss her or cuddle, but she’d always avoided it. A couple of times he’d nearly fallen asleep in her bed and she had nudged him to make him leave.

            His face was relaxed in sleep, softening the lines at the corners of his eyes and softening his lips. Even in sleep he looked close to a smile. His dark blonde hair was ruffled from sleeping, and without thinking she leaned forward to brush it back with her fingers. It was soft to her touch, and her hand lingered by Alistair’s temple. She never allowed herself to touch him, but watching him sleep, she couldn’t quite bring herself to remove her hand again.

            Carefully she let her fingertips caress over his high cheekbones, the dark eyelashes resting against his cheek, and down across his jaw. Stubble tickled her fingers, he’d not shaved for the past few days as they had been traveling. Moving her hand back up to his forehead she trailed the shape of his dark eyebrows, followed the straight line of his nose. For a moment her fingertips lingered over his lips, and she wondered how they would have felt against hers had she ever allowed him to kiss her.

            Looking up from his mouth she found herself staring into Alistair’s amber eyes. With a startled yelp she pulled her hand back and scooted away from him.

            “I… I beg your pardon!” she blurted quickly.

            Alistair was slowly sitting up, his eyes not leaving hers. “No need to apologise,” he said thoughtfully. “It was rather nice to have you touching me.”

            Finding his gaze much too disconcerting, Shae stood up and turned her back to him. “I will find us something to eat,” she said, dismissing him. Then, before he could argue, she disappeared between the trees.

            _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ She repeated the word like a mantra as she walked through the forest, scanning the brush for berries and other edible things. What in the world had come over her, to do something as stupid as touching Alistair like that? She kept cursing her foolishness the entire time, until she finally returned to their makeshift camp, some berries gathered in the skirts of her dress.

            Sensing her mood, Alistair didn’t say anything, just nodded his thanks when she gave him a handful of her bounty. Sitting down as far away from him as she could without it seeming too ridiculous, Shae ate her breakfast in silence. When finished, she grabbed a saddle and began readying her horse.

            “I think we will have to find a town for some supplies,” Alistair said as he followed suit. “As much as I enjoy berries and bread, I think it might be nice with some variation.”

            Shae nodded. “That makes sense.”

            Nodding towards her, Alistair continued, “And probably some clothes. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

            Looking down at her dark blue velvet dress, Shae sighed. He was right. Not only was it finer than what most people traveling was wearing, the hem was also caked with a combination of mud and blood. Alistair’s fine clothes weren’t much better, and his tunic bore his heraldry. If they wanted to be unnoticed, they would have to dress like commoners.

            “Leave the tunic here,” she said. “Without it I don’t think anyone will recognise you. No one expects their king to be traveling alone.”

            Alistair pulled the tunic off, leaving him in his white, long-sleeved undershirt. Despite it covering him as well as anything would, he seemed awfully undressed. Maybe it was because of the deep V at his chest, showing far more skin than she’d have liked. Mounting her horse, she nudged it with her heels to start their trek back to Denerim.

 

*****

           

“This will do nicely,” Alistair seemed content as he surveyed their room at the local inn of a small town.

            Shae nodded. The room wasn’t huge, and the wooden furniture was worn, but it seemed clean and after sleeping on the ground for the past couple of nights, she was happy for the prospect of sleeping in a bed again. It had taken them all of the previous day and most of this one to find a town. They’d been lucky that Alistair had come away with his coin purse when they were attacked, and so he’d secured them a room.

            “I’ve ordered up a bath,” Alistair said as he dropped their saddlebags on a small chair that stood in a corner. “While you make use of that, I will find a store to get us some other clothes.”

            He disappeared before Shae could reply, which was probably just as well. They’d spoken very little the past couple of days. True to his nature, Alistair had tried to start up a conversation a few times, but she’d managed to keep them as short as possible. Now she was about to be stuck in a room with him, which wasn’t ideal, but being able to sleep in a bed was going to be worth it.

            There was only one bed in the room, Shae suddenly realised. Of course there would only be one bed in the room, what had she expected? They were married, and they only had a limited amount of coin to last them to Denerim. Paying for two separate rooms was not an option. This did mean that she would have to spend the night in the same bed as her husband though.

            A soft knock sounded on the door, and two maids entered carrying a wooden tub between them. Placing it in the middle of the room they then disappeared quickly, only to return with barrels of hot water. Once they had filled the tub enough for a bath, they curtsied and closed the door behind them as they left. A couple of towels and a soap had been placed on the bed.

            Shae quickly divested herself of her clothes and sank into the tub of water. It felt divine to wash off the dust and grime from the past two days on the road. Using the soap she washed her long hair, loving the feeling of being clean again. She lingered in the bath longer than necessary, simply enjoying the water enveloping her, her eyes closed and her head leaning back against the edge of the copper tub.

            Waking up with a jerk, Shae realised that she’d dozed off. She stood up and was just about to step out of the tub when Alistair opened the door and entered the room.

            “I bought us some new clothes and some provisions,” he said as he closed the door. “I hope that you like chee…” He trailed off as he caught sight of her standing naked in the tub.

            They stared at each other, both equally shocked. Shae felt herself blush as Alistair’s amber eyes followed the shape of her body. He’d not seen her naked since Duncan was conceived, there no longer being a need for them to create an heir, and she knew that she had filled out since then. When younger she’d been slender as a reed, and while she was still slight of form, she knew that her hips had become rounder and her breasts bigger.

            As their eyes met, Alistair seemed to realise what he was doing and quickly whipped around. “Maker! I’m sorry!” he exhaled. “I thought you would be long done by now.”

            Shae quickly moved over to the bed and grabbed one of the towels, wrapping it around herself. “I… I may have dozed off.”

            “I’m sorry for staring,” Alistair muttered, sounding embarrassed. “That was badly done of me. I was just… surprised.” He hesitated a moment, before carefully asking. “Are you decent?”

            “As decent as I’ll be without the clothes you’re still holding,” Shae noted wryly.

            “Oh, right! Of course!” He fumbled a bit with the things he was carrying, before reaching an arm out behind him with a few pieces of clothing folded in a neat package.

            Walking up to him, Shae took it from him and returned to the bed. Glancing back at Alistair, she saw that he was fastidiously staring at the closed door. Dropping the towel she quickly dressed in the things he’d brought. New undergarments, a pair of soft leggings and a form-fitting tunic that reached her knees. While she normally wore dresses these days, the outfit seemed like a better choice when riding.

            “You may turn around now.” She watched as Alistair carefully turned his head first, to make sure it was truly safe, then finally he moved into the room and put everything he carried on the bed.

            There was another package of clothes, probably for him, as well as a pair of soft leather boots for her. Several packages seemed to contain food, which would be a nice change from the fruits and berries they’d had the past couple of days. The bread they’d found in the saddlebags had only lasted them halfway through the previous day.

            Alistair sat down on the bed and pulled off his boots. He smiled at her when he saw her looking at the food packages. “I asked them to bring us supper to the room when I came back,” he said. “I don’t think we should risk it, eating in the dining room, in case anyone recognises us.”

            Nodding, Shae sat down in the middle of the bed, well away from Alistair. Bringing her hair over her shoulder she started braiding it slowly. When Alistair stood up and pulled his shirt over his head, she abruptly stopped. “What are you doing?” she asked, her voice an octave higher than she’d have liked.

            Alistair gave her a crooked smile. “Well, I need a bath too.” When his hands reached the buttons of his trousers and began undoing them, Shae quickly turned her back to him.

            “You could have warned me!” she hissed, only to be met by Alistair’s warm laughter.

            “As much as you may regret it,” he chuckled as she heard his trousers falling to the floor. “You’re still my wife, and I supposed I didn’t think it would bother you.”

            _It doesn’t bother me. Not in the least._ Even Shae knew that she was lying to herself. She kept staring into the wall on the other side of the room as she heard the water splashing when Alistair got into the tub. His moan of pleasure didn’t help. Closing her eyes, she prayed for strength as her body felt strangely heated.

            “Don’t want to help sponge me off?”

            The teasing question made her turn around to stare at her husband. He was sitting in the tub with a big grin on his face and his amber eyes glittering with mirth.

            “Are you mocking me?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

            “Only a little,” his smile grew bigger. “For having been married nearly ten years you’re very prudish.”

            “As you well know, ours is not a normal marriage,” Shae grit out, but she couldn’t keep her eyes from straying from his. Alistair seemed ridiculously large sitting in that tub, his wide shoulders dwarfing the width of it. She knew that he still exercised vigorously nearly every day, wanting to always be ready should he be needed to fight, and it showed in his muscled chest and flat stomach. His arms were corded with muscles, with wasn’t strange considering that a sword and shield were his weapons of choice.

            “You do like to remind me of it,” Alistair commented, and she couldn’t quite place the tone in his voice. “Now, won’t you be a dear and hand me that towel?”

            Shae slid off the bed and brought the remaining dry towel to Alistair, making sure to keep her back to him as he stood up.

            “Oh, the food is here!” he exclaimed happily as someone knocked. He padded over to the door and opened it, letting in the two maids who had been there earlier. Shae pretended not to notice that they kept giggling and glancing at Alistair, who was smiling at them, wearing nothing but the towel wrapped around his waist. She couldn’t really blame them for staring, he was a very handsome man.

            The maids left two bowls of hot stew and a loaf of bread on the small table, then disappeared with a final longing glance back at Alistair. Shae had to keep herself from staring at him as well, as he sat down on one of the chairs and smelled the stew.

            “Are you not going to get dressed?” she finally asked when he seemed to make himself comfortable.

            He looked up in surprise, having been about to cut a piece of bread. “What? Oh, I will! I just want to eat first. I’m famished!” Then he started smiling. “Why? Does it bother you?”

            “Not at all,” Shae grumbled, sitting down on the other chair. “I barely notice it.”

            Alistair laughed, he probably knew she was lying through her teeth.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, accidentally posted this under Silk and Steel first! Sorry about the delay in posting this chapter, sadly I was in the hospital for a week - so I wasn't able to post last Monday. Back home now though, and should be back on the regular posting schedule. Thanks to everyone who has commented/favourited/given kudos so far, it's really appreciated! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too!

* * *

 

Shae lay deadly still, trying not to move, lest she brush up against Alistair who was lying on the other side of the bed. It wasn’t overly large, and it was difficult to lie comfortably without touching one another. Especially since her husband was not only a fairly large man, but also liked to sprawl. Which left her lying as far out on her side as she could without falling off the edge, and keeping her arms and legs perfectly straight.

            Even with several inches separating them, she could feel the heat radiating off Alistair’s body, and it was nothing if not distracting. He was breathing deeply, obviously having no issues falling asleep with her in the bed, while she was wide awake, unable to let sleep claim her. It wasn’t fair.

            “For the love of the Maker, Shae!” Alistair suddenly growled, making her jump. Turning her head she saw that Alistair was lying on his stomach, facing her, his eyes drowsy, but definitely awake. “Relax, please. It’s impossible to sleep with you lying like a log in the bed.”

            “You’re welcome to sleep on the floor if you prefer,” Shae replied stiffly, which just made him chuckle.

            “No, but thanks for the kind offer. How about you just relax? I promise I won’t bite.”

            “I’m not used to having someone in the bed with me,” Shae muttered.

            “Well, whose fault is that?” Alistair asked as he turned around and nestled into his pillow.

            Shae stared at the back of his head for a moment, anger burning hotly inside her. The person who had originally requested a marriage of convenience was he, so he had no right to complain now. How dare he?! Unable to quite control her anger, she kicked out with both feet and pushed as hard as she could.

            Alistair went careening off the edge of the bed and landed on the floor with a yelp. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his tousled hair and stared at her. “What was that about?”

            “Sorry,” Shae said, her voice deadpan. “Leg spasm.”

            She turned her back to her husband, suddenly feeling much better. Maybe she’d be able to sleep after all.

            The next morning Shae woke up to find herself lying on her side with her back against Alistair’s chest, his arm around her and his hand on her breast. Their legs were entwined and his breath was fanning the back of her neck. Carefully trying to move, she only succeeded in making Alistair pull her closer, his lips now against the sensitive skin of her shoulder.

            “Alistair?” she ventured quietly, but received no answer. From his breathing she suspected he was still sleeping, and since any attempt at extracting herself only seemed to make him pull her tighter, she gave up and allowed herself to relax against him. As much as she hated to admit it, lying against his warm, strong body felt nice. They were both only wearing undergarments, and she could feel one part of him, that was decidedly more awake than he was, resting against the curve of her bum.

            Closing her eyes again, she enjoyed the unusual feeling of having his arms around her. It made her feel safe, at peace. Which really was not good. Alistair mumbled something in his sleep she couldn’t quite hear, but she could definitely feel the hand on her breast that began squeezing lightly. His lips moved gently across the skin on her shoulder, placing feather-light kisses.

            “Alistair?” she tried again, a little louder this time. Still no reaction. This was definitely not good. His hand and lips were doing strange things to her insides. Her skin tingled where he kissed her, and when he nibbled at the sensitive spot where her shoulder and neck met, a low moan escaped her. This really wouldn’t do. Seeing no other way out, she took aim and kicked him hard in the shins.

            Alistair awoke with a start. “Who?! What?!” It took him another moment to get his bearings, and then he realised where his hand was and quickly pulled it back. Shae took the opportunity to disentangle herself from him and scooting further away from him in bed.

            He was frowning now, as if trying to figure out what was going on.

            “Turns out that you’re pretty grabby in your sleep,” Shae explained when he gave her a puzzled look.

            “Oh… I’m sorry,” Alistair mumbled, his cheeks staining red. Sitting up, he ran a hand through his tousled hair. “I never meant to manhandle you.”

            “Just don’t let it happen again.” The comment came out a lot haughtier and disapproving than she’d meant, and Alistair’s eyes clouded.

            “Duly noted.” He rolled out of bed and found his clothes. After dressing in silence, he grabbed a piece of bread and walked over to the door. “Get ready, we’ll leave as soon as you’re dressed and have eaten.”

            With that he left the room, the sound of the door shutting sounding oddly angry, despite it being so quiet.

 

*****

 

They rode in silence, Alistair not even trying to start a conversation, and Shae found herself actually missing it. When they reached another village at dusk Alistair got them a room at the inn, ordered her some food and sent her upstairs. He would explore the area he said, see if he could find anything out about his men and the attack.

            When he hadn’t come to their room several hours later, Shae began worrying that something might have happened to him. She was just about to get dressed to seek him out when a knock sounded at the door. Quickly getting out of bed she ran over to the door on her bare feet and opened it. Alistair stood on the other side, swaying lightly. At first she thought he was injured, but then she smelled the alcohol on his breath.

            “Ah,” he said jovially. “Here she is. My wife.”

            Shae rolled her eyes and ushered him into the room. Closing and locking the door she leaned back against it to stare at her inebriated husband. He was standing in the middle of the room, looking around at the tub of now cold water and the bowl of half-finished vegetable soup. A few candles were lit next to the bed, and the covers upturned where she’d been lying, waiting for him to return.

            “Enjoyed your time without me?” Alistair asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Must feel just like home.”

            “That’s rather unfair.” Shae frowned. He was in a strange mood. “What in the world possessed you to drink yourself into a stupor?”

            “Now who’s unfair?” Alistair smiled. “I’m not nearly in a stupor.”

            “I’m going back to bed,” Shae announced, feeling rather exasperated by the whole situation. Pushing away from the door she walked towards the bed, but never made it that far as she had to pass Alistair. When she moved past him, he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her back to face him. Lifting a hand he touched her face gently as his eyes searched hers.

            “Am I really so abhorrent to you?” he asked, his breath mingling with hers, and she could smell the alcohol. It wasn’t an unpleasant smell, but he was much too close for her comfort.

            “What do you mean?” she asked, taking a few steps back. “I don’t find you abhorrent.”

            “No?” Alistair smiled wryly. “It sure seems like it. You shy away any time I try to touch you. Most of the time you won’t even carry on a conversation with me.”

            Shae shook her head. “It’s the kind of marriage we have,” she reminded him, retreating another few steps as Alistair followed her. “It’s the kind of marriage we have to have.”

            “Is it?” Alistair asked, coming closer still. “I would rather have a wife that I can touch.”

            Taking another step backwards, Shae’s legs hit the edge of the bed and she nearly toppled over. Alistair was quicker though, grabbing hold of her waist and pulling her close. Shae held onto his shoulders for support, and found herself staring up into his amber eyes.

            “I’m your wife,” she whispered, his closeness intoxicating. “I can’t stop you.”

            Alistair scowled, a flash of anger passing over his face. “I’m not that kind of man. I would never do anything to you against your will.”

            The pad of his thumb caressed her lower lip, and she closed her eyes. It felt much too good. _He_ felt much too good. She was pressed snugly against him, one of his arms on her waist and the other cupping her face. Her soft curves fit perfectly against the hard planes of his body.

            “I just wish…” Alistair whispered, so close that she could feel his hot breath against her lips. “I wish that you wanted me to kiss you.”

            Right that moment, she wanted nothing more, but she’d be damned if she would tell him. It seemed that she didn’t need to though, as she felt his lips against hers. Tentative at first, then when she didn’t protest, with increased pressure. Before she knew what was happening, she had her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair and Alistair was kissing her like a man starved. His tongue stole across her lips, claiming the hot fire within.

            Shae was swept away on a torrent of feelings. She’d been kissed before, when she’d still been at Highever, but never like this. Alistair stoked the fire that was always burning deep inside of her to an inferno, and it felt as if she would burn to a crisp if she wasn’t careful. When his hand came up to cup her breast, caressing the nipple through the cloth of her tunic, she wrestled out of his grasp.

            “No,” she gasped, moving away from him. “I’m… I’m sorry, Alistair, but I can’t do this.”

            He stared at her for a moment, his eyes impossibly dark, then he sighed. “Right.”

            There was a hint of sadness in his voice, but Shae wasn’t quite ready to ask him why. Instead she got into the bed and pulled the cover all the way to her chin. Her body was still burning, but it still felt better to shield herself from Alistair’s gaze. He moved to the other side of the bed, grabbed a pillow and a blanket and dropped them on the floor.

            “What are you doing?”

            He smiled wryly. “I’m sleeping on the floor. I think we already saw that I can’t be trusted in my sleep, and after that kiss…” He trailed off, then cleared his throat. “Well, I’m just going to sleep on the floor.”


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if I missed a lot during the editing. I've run out of things I wrote before the surgery, and I'm still in recovery - so things are a bit slower than usual. Trying to decide now whether I want to write some chapters from Alistair's POV, but not sure since I don't know if it would spoil things if we spend too much time in his head. If anyone has any preferences, feel free to let me know ;)
> 
> Also, thanks again for all comments and kudos!

* * *

 

Shae stared into the campfire, trying to keep her eyes off Alistair who was sitting on the opposite side perusing a map he had purchased to help them find their way back to Denerim. Whenever she wasn’t focusing on doing other things, her eyes would drift to his mouth, remembering how it had felt against her own and her lips would tingle in response.

            In their ten years together she had never allowed him to kiss her, because she had known it would be a bad idea. Last night proved it, since she was unable to stop thinking about what had happened. What _could_ have happened. Her body heated at the images her mind conjured, of their bodies naked together in bed. Not in the impersonal, quick way their previous sex had been – but filled with passion and kissing.

            Shaking her head she willed the visions away. She was an adult, not a lovesick teenager – and her husband was in love with another woman. Their marriage needed to remain the way it had been, or she would risk her heart breaking. _More than it already had._ The thought came unbidden to her mind and she groaned. _I am not thinking about this. I’m happy the way things are._

“Are you alright?” Alistair suddenly asked, and she looked up to see him studying her from across the fire, a slight frown on his face.

            “Yes, thank you for asking.” She tried not to look at his lips. She was definitely not imagining them kissing across her bare skin. “Is the map any help?”

            “It is, I think I’ve found some smaller roads we can take to Denerim where we will be less likely to meet someone who could recognise us,” Alistair answered with a smile as he folded the map again.

            Standing up he nodded towards the small lake they were camped next to. “I think I will quickly wash up. It’s a good thing we had to do this travel during the summer. Would have been a lot more inconvenient in the winter. And cold.”

            Not wanting to see Alistair undress Shae stood up as well and grabbed her bow and quiver. “Then I will take a walk. I’ll be back in a little while.”

            “Be careful,” Alistair called after her as she entered the forest.

            Shae spent a good while wandering around between the trees, trying not to imagine Alistair naked in the lake, water dripping from his wet hair down over his torso. The last few days really hadn’t been good for her peace of mind. When she finally walked back towards their little camp she did so slowly, wanting to make sure she didn’t walk in on an undressed Alistair. As she came closer an unpleasant feeling came over her, an ominous prickle at the back of her neck. She’d felt like this before, usually when something bad was about to happen.

            Standing still she closed her eyes and listened. It took her a moment, but then she heard the muffled sounds of a fight. Opening her eyes again she took off at a run, worried about what she might find. As she broke through the trees she saw Alistair fighting a man while another was rifling through their bags. Having obviously been surprised, Alistair was still only wearing a pair of unbuttoned breeches, his hair still wet. His shield still lay on the ground and he was doing his best using only the sword to parry the other man’s attacks. It was clear that he wasn’t as used to fighting with just a sword though, sometimes he would lift his other arm as if to block an attack before quickly remembering that he wasn’t wearing a shield.

            The man he was fighting was more used to fighting with only a sword, but had yet to gain the upper hand due to Alistair’s skill. Shae had to admit that she was impressed, Alistair looked very dashing fighting in only breeches. Before she could admire him further though, the other man feinted an attack, causing Alistair to raise his free arm in defense out of habit, and before he could react the man punched him in the face with the hand not holding his weapon. Alistair backed away a few steps, shaking his head slightly and wincing from the blow.

            Shae brought her bow up and sent an arrow flying past the man’s head. As it lodged in a tree trunk just behind him he stopped in his tracks and turned his head to stare at her. Alistair seemed equally surprised.

            “The next one won’t miss,” Shae promised, and as the thief who had been going through their bags made a move to advance on her she aimed the next arrow at him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You’d have an arrow in your head before you took another step. Now, I want you both to leave here before I change my mind and just put an arrow in you anyway.”

            The two thieves looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

            “I would suggest doing as the lady says,” Alistair recommended cheerfully.

            “Fine,” the man with the sword muttered, sheathing it and slowly moving away from Alistair while staring at Shae. “We’ll leave.”

            The two men disappeared quickly. Shae supposed that they had liked their odds when they were two against one, but an even fight was more than they had bargained for. Keeping her aim at them the entire time as they walked away she slowly moved closer to Alistair.

            “Are you okay?” she asked him as the two men were nearly enveloped by the forest.

            “Peachy.” He rubbed his jaw with his free hand. “It’s my own fault, I let my guard down. I was just getting dressed when they showed up.”

            “I can tell,” Shae couldn’t help but smile a little as she lowered her bow. “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen someone in a swordfight with no shirt or boots on.”

            “Impressed?” Alistair winked.

            “Maybe a little,” Shae laughed.

            Alistair’s face grew serious. “I think we may want to consider moving on. I don’t want to risk them coming back.”

            Shae nodded, and they quickly packed up their things. Alistair got dressed, quenched the fire and then they rode off. They’d been riding most of the day, leaving both them and the horses tired, but it was safer to move on than to stay. They rode in silence for a while, before Alistair finally spoke.

            “You’re really quite competent with the bow and arrow. I think when he gets older, you should teach Duncan.”

            “I’d like that.”

            “I always imagined teaching him to use a sword and shield,” Alistair said with a smile. “But I think he should be given the option to learn bow and arrow as well. Especially from you. Who knows, maybe you could teach me too.”

            Shae gave him a surprised look. “Are you interested in learning archery?”

            Alistair shrugged. “It could be interesting. I’ll always be a sword and board guy at heart, but it doesn’t hurt to try something new. And if you’re teaching me, that’s an added bonus.”

            He smiled at her, and she had to resist smiling back. Was he flirting with her?

            “If we’d had you at Ostagar, I’m sure we would have won,” Alistair joked.

            Shae looked straight forward, staring into the dusk. It was fortunate that it was summer indeed, since it never got quite as dark during the nights as it did in winter.

            “I was there,” she finally said silently.

            Alistair looked at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”

            “I was there. At Ostagar.”

            “You never told me that.”

            Shae shrugged. “I never saw a reason to.”

            “What were you doing there?”

            “After the attack on Highever, I was by myself. There was just me and my dog, and I didn’t know what to do. So I went to Ostagar in search of my brother who was there with our soldiers. When I arrived he was out on a mission though, and I never saw him. I stayed to fight, but when we were losing, I ran with the others.”

            “How odd,” Alistair said thoughtfully. “To think that we were in Ostagar at the same time.”

            “I saw you there,” Shae admitted. “You and the other Wardens. I considered asking if I could join, since I had nothing else. But I decided to wait for my brother instead.”

            Alistair pondered her words for a while. “To think how different things might have been, had you become a Warden.”

            “I doubt I would have been a very good Warden,” Shae said with a self-deprecating laugh. “I was very angry and bitter about what had happened at Highever.”

            “You’d have been a great Warden,” Alistair said, and she had to turn her head to look at him, not used to hearing him sounding so serious.

            “It doesn’t matter now,” she finally said, looking back to the road ahead.

            “Where did you go after Ostagar?” Alistair asked.

            Shae thought back to the days after Ostagar. Everything had been a mess. The darkspawn horde was moving through the lands, and she and the other survivors were doing their best to stay ahead of them. It had not been a good time.

            “Once I got far enough ahead of the darkspawn, I went to Lothering. Only for a few days though, the horde soon came and levelled it to the ground. After that I moved around for a while. I went to Redcliffe hoping to get some help from Arl Eamon since he knew my father, but he was indisposed. And Redcliffe overrun by undead.”

            Alistair shook his head in amazement. “You were in Redcliffe during the invasion… So was I.”

            “I know. I saw you there as well.”

            “Why did you never say anything?” Alistair asked.

            “I didn’t know you back then,” Shae reminded him. “I just happened to see you here and there, while I was looking for my brother. I stayed in the village and fought during that final invasion. After Redcliffe I didn’t see you again until Denerim though. I went there hoping that my brother would eventually show up.”

            “I think I must revise my image of you as a proper lady,” Alistair chuckled.

            “I am a proper lady,” Shae muttered.

            “You are,” Alistair happily agreed. “But I always thought that you’d lived a sheltered life in Highever, like most women of nobility. That’s not very true, is it?”

            Shae shrugged. “I’m sure I was sheltered in some ways, but yes – I suppose I’m not exactly a wilting flower.”

            “Well, I very much look forward to getting to know you – the real you – better.” Alistair was smiling broadly, but Shae was feeling rather uncertain how she felt about this. Did she really want Alistair to properly get to know her?


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the little time jump halfway through, but I needed to move things along a little. It gets a bit tedious with them just being on the road all the time. Hopefully it’s not too jarring! As always, thanks to everyone for reading!

* * *

 

The moment Alistair closed the door behind them, Shae collapsed on the bed. They’d ridden most of the night, only to finally come upon a small village as the first rays of the sun hinted at the horizon. Alistair had secured them a room at the local inn and left their horses to be tended by a stable boy. Since both horses and people were exhausted after the long journey, Alistair had declared that they would stay until the following day, lest they wear themselves out.

            “Don’t wake me unless the inn is on fire,” Shae muttered as she drowsily kicked off her leather boots.

            Alistair chuckled. “I’d be lucky to wake up myself at this point.”

            “If we die in a fire, at least we got some sleep first,” Shae said as she burrowed her head into the pillow.

            “Are you going to sleep with your clothes on?”

            Shae pried an eye open to look at Alistair who was busy undressing. “Too tired to move,” she mumbled, but she had to admit that watching Alistair was making her feel slightly more awake than she had been a moment ago.

            “Always hated sleeping with clothes on,” Alistair admitted as he pulled his shirt over his head. “It’s why being on the road is so tedious. I very much prefer an inn with a proper bed.”

            He pulled off his boots and put them by the side of the bed. Would she ever get used to seeing his bare chest? He was wide shouldered with defined abs, and she could feel her fingertips tingle from wanting to run them over him to feel if he was as hard as he looked. His hands came to rest at the buttons of his breeches, but with a glance towards her he seemed to decide against it and left them on.

            “When at home I sleep naked.”

            Her admission made Alistair’s head snap back to stare at her, and she couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with herself when she saw the tips of his ears redden. His gaze moved over her body and she would hazard a guess that he was imagining her without her clothes on.

            “I… ah…” Alistair ran a hand through his hair. “That’s… nice?”

            Shae grinned to herself and turned her back to Alistair. At least she wasn’t the only one who got flustered. The bed shifted a little as Alistair lay down next to her and she tried to scoot a little further to her side.

            “Don’t worry,” Alistair said wryly. “I’m so tired I suspect I will sleep like the dead, so you should be safe from me pawing at you.”

            Truth was, she was more worried that she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from touching him. He always radiated heat, and it was distracting since she was unable to pretend that he wasn’t there. Every fibre in her being wanted her to turn around and touch him, kiss him. That kiss he had bestowed on her really had ruined everything. She groaned.

            “Are you alright?” Alistair asked, a note of worry in his voice.

            “I’m fine, it’s just hot.”

            “I’d suggest shedding some clothes, but…” His voice trailed off as Shae got out of the bed and shimmied out of her leggings, then pulled the tunic over her head. “But you’re already doing that,” he finished weakly.

            Watching as he took in the sight of her in just her underclothes Shae supposed that if she was uncomfortable being close to him, she might just as well repay the favour. Why should only she suffer? Lying back on the bed she was pleased to notice that this time Alistair moved a little further away from her.

            Closing her eyes, she focused on her own breathing, and not on the fact that her half-naked, handsome husband was lying within arm’s reach. She’d almost fallen asleep when Alistair’s voice interrupted her.

            “So… You sleep naked,” he said thoughtfully. “But every time I have come to your chambers when we…” He cleared his throat. “Well, you were always wearing a nightgown.”

            “Because I knew you were coming.”

            Alistair frowned. “And it would be that awful if I saw you naked?”

            Sighing, Shae moved to lie on her side so that she could look at him. She was telling him far more than she normally would, but she was tired, and right then she didn’t see the harm in it. “It felt safer that way. Like a shield.”

            “Safer?” Alistair questioned, reaching out to absent-mindedly stroke the braid falling across her shoulder.

            “Yes,” Shae said. “With the kind of marriage we have, a certain level of detachment seem like the best solution.”

            Alistair looked up to meet her eyes. “Maybe we should renegotiate the terms of our marriage?”

            “I… What do you mean?” Shae’s throat suddenly felt dry.

            “Well…” Alistair carefully tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering to cup her cheek. “I think we could make this a better marriage than it has been so far.”

            Shae frowned, but didn’t move away from him. “This was your idea, Alistair,” she reminded him. “I’ve only ever done exactly what you asked for. A marriage of convenience to create an heir to the throne.”

            “I know that,” he said wryly. “But maybe we can do more.”

            “Why? Do you want another child?”

            Alistair looked taken aback by her question, his hand falling from her face. She found that she kind of missed it. “What? Why…?”

            “We only ever agreed to one child, but if you want to try for another, I won’t stop you,” the words spilled out of her before she could stop herself. It was the one thing that made sense to her. Why else would he be acting like this?

            Alistair shook his head. “I… I mean, I wouldn’t say no to another child, but the odds of us having another are against us. I may not actively be a Warden, but all of the things that makes you one – I still have. Honestly, I’m grateful that we even have Duncan. Not that I’m against trying. But,” he searched her eyes. “Why do you ask?”

            “If you want to try for another child, you need only say so,” Shae said, trying to sound formal. “There is no need to woe me.”

            “Oh, Maker!” Alistair groaned, rolling his eyes. “You do have a skill for shutting me down in the quickest way possible, don’t you?”

            “I actually wasn’t trying to this time,” Shae muttered angrily, feeling somewhat hurt by his annoyance.

            The admission made the corners of Alistair’s mouth tug slightly, as if he was suppressing a smile. “How about,” he suggested. “That we start with just getting to know each other better. I am realising that there is a lot more to you than the proper lady you’ve presented so far. And I’d really love to get to know you better.”

            Shae nodded slowly. “I suppose we could do that.”

            “I’ll take what I can get,” Alistair said, smiling now. “How about we get some sleep. You must be as exhausted as I am.”

 

*****

 

“We should reach Denerim soon,” Alistair said from where he was riding on his horse next to Shae.

            “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed again,” Shae admitted. “And to see Duncan.”

            She’d missed her son immensely during their travels. It was the first time she’d been away from him, and it had been more difficult than she’d ever imagined. Fortunately, he had a wonderful nurse that she felt safe leaving him with. Still, she couldn’t wait to see him, to hold him in her arms again.

            It had been nearly a week since Alistair had suggested they get to know each other better, and as loathe as she may be to admit it – Shae had enjoyed being able to let her guard down for a bit. Being able to talk to her husband like another human being instead of avoiding him as much as possible. Traveling together had been a lot easier that way as well, since being alone together on the road really was rather awful when you weren’t on speaking terms.

            Alistair had asked her more about her past, being very interested in the time she’d spent on her own while searching for Fergus, and had made sure to not ruin it all by trying to kiss her again. Shae wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad about that fact. On the one hand, she felt much _safer_ if he didn’t kiss her. But on the other… She really wanted to feel his lips on hers again.

            While finding out more about her, Alistair also shared more stories about himself. About his childhood, about his time during the Fifth Blight with his companions. For her sake, he didn’t mention much of the Warden-Commander other than in passing. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It was thoughtful of him to consider her feelings. Yet it grated her that he didn’t mention her, since not talking about her somehow turned it into this big, sore blister between them. It may have been easier if he’d acknowledged the Warden-Commander and their relationship, instead of glossing over the fact as if it wasn’t there or had never happened.

            Even so, his stories were amusing, and she felt like she had gotten to know him better in this past week than she had in the past ten years. Which was nice and disconcerting at the same time.

            Looking forward, she could see the silhouette of Denerim against the horizon, nestled on the coast of the Amaranthine Ocean. The silhouette was easily distinguished by the tall towers of Fort Drakon, reaching higher than any building in the city. Behind the walls they would be safe, and she would see Duncan again.

            “Do you think Terryn and any of our soldiers made it back safely?” she ventured, thoughts returning to the day they’d been attacked.

            “I hope so,” Alistair said, his voice hard. “I hate to think they didn’t.”

            “I still don’t understand who dared to attack us.”

            “Me neither. I might send a message to this Inquisition. They seem to have some idea of what’s going on in the world at the moment, at least. Which, right now, is more than I do.”

            Shae nodded. “That might be an idea.”

            They’d only briefly spoken to the Inquisitor and her companions in Redcliffe, but the elf had seemed like a reasonable woman. Shae didn’t envy her the huge responsibility she currently shouldered. If anyone had a grip on the situation though, it was probably the Inquisition.

            Not much later they rode through the city gates of Denerim. In their common clothes and somewhat dishevelled states, no one even reacted to them. Then again, who would expect the king and queen to come through the city on horses, wearing commoners’ clothes? Riding up to the palace courtyard, they were approached by a guard on duty.

            “Halt!” he called. “What business have you at the Royal Palace?”

            “I don’t know,” Alistair responded lazily. “I thought I might put on a crown and make some decrees. I hear it’s all the rage these days.”

            The guard’s eyes widened as he recognised his king. “Your Majesty!” he gasped, bowing low. “I beg your pardon! I did not recognise you.”

            Alistair dismounted. “Don’t worry about it, I probably wouldn’t recognise me either.” He ran his fingers over the short beard that had grown out during their travels. “Really, I can’t wait to shave this off.”

            “Where… Where is your escort?” the guard asked, looking behind them, as if expecting the contingent of soldiers to magically appear.

            “We were attacked,” Alistair replied grimly. “I take it they are not back then? That is disappointing.”

            He turned to Shae and helped her off her horse. “Please, make sure that someone takes good care of these horses. They’ve travelled quite far.”

            “Yes, Your Majesty,” the guard bowed again, taking the reins of the horses and walking away towards the stables.

            “I should find Anselm,” Alistair muttered, glancing at Shae. “Since he’s second in command of the guard, he needs to know what happened.”

            “You do that,” Shae nodded. “I will go find Duncan.”

            A smile spread over Alistair’s face, and his eyes softened at the mention of their son. “I will have to see him as soon as I’m done. I’ve missed the little tyke.”

            Shae made to leave, then stopped and gave Alistair a nervous look. “If… If you want to try for another child…” She tried very hard not to blush. “Then you can visit my bedchamber next week.”

            With that said, she turned around and quickly walked towards the palace doors, too embarrassed to stay and hear his response. She did notice him mumbling something underneath his breath though, but she couldn’t quite hear. It sounded like “Oh, you’re not getting away that easily”, but she was too far away to know for sure.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the lateness of this chapter. The past couple of weeks I've been feeling a bit off, and the writing just hasn't gone well. I love this story though (Alistair is a favourite and I love my little Cousland), so I'm working on getting back into the groove! 
> 
> Oh, and this chapter is from Alistair's POV. Please don't kill me!
> 
> Thanks for all of your comments/kudos. They definitely make the writing easier and more fun!

* * *

 

Alistair Theirin, King of Ferelden, former Warden and a key person in ending the Fifth Blight considered the possibility that his current mission may prove more difficult than any other. He was going to have to charm and seduce his wife. Exactly how he was going to go about doing this, he wasn’t quite sure. But it definitely needed to be done.

            Which was why he was now on his way to the royal quarters. It was about time he had a chat with his wife. It was late at night, he’d spent most of his days since their return to Denerim over two months ago in meetings with advisors and foreign dignitaries. With the world in its current state, there was a lot of unrest and he was having to deal with a lot more than he would have liked.

            It was still preferable to having to deal with it on a larger scale. He was quite happy that the Inquisition was there to do so, and he didn’t envy them their task. There had been enough world saving in his life already during the Fifth Blight. Though some days he rather thought he preferred darkspawn over some of the diplomats and dignitaries he had to speak to. Darkspawn were easier to deal with too. Just a sword through the…

            Alistair caught himself before that thought went too far. He really shouldn’t think of the diplomats that way. No matter how fun it might be.

            Reaching the royal quarters he entered the sitting room that connected his bedchamber to Shae’s on opposite sides. He wasn’t surprised to find it empty, except for the two Mabari hounds huddled in a corner with their litter of pups piled up around them. That was something he was going to have to explain to the Warden-Commander the next time he saw her.

            Isabel had left her Mabari, Arcane, with him the last time she was in Denerim since the dog had been injured and she didn’t want to risk its health on the long journey she was about to take. Arcane got along well with Shae’s Mabari, Bailey, so it had seemed like a good idea. No one had realised quite _how well_ the two hounds got along until it was too late. Now they had a litter of four Mabari pups wreaking havoc in the royal palace. Yup, he definitely had some explaining to do.

            Walking over to the door to Shae’s room he knocked and waited. It was late, and she might have gone to bed already. He probably should have waited until the next day, but for all he knew he might end up stuck in meetings all day. Again. And he really wanted to speak to his wife. He had barely seen her in the time they’d been back, both slipping into their old pattern much too easily.

            When he didn’t hear anything from inside, he knocked again.

            “Shae?” he queried softly. “Are you awake?”

            He could hear her moving about inside now, and remembered her confession that she usually slept naked. Had she already gone to bed? The thought of Shae naked in bed was far too enticing. Before he could linger on it for too long, the door opened and the object of his thoughts was standing before him.

            She had definitely been in bed, because she was only wearing a thin robe, tied at the waist and short enough to show off her long, shapely legs. Her long, auburn hair was loose and somewhat untidy from lying down on it. The sight would have been a very inviting one, if not for the disapproving frown that decorated her brow.

            “Alistair,” she said, sounding irritated. “What do you want? It’s late.”

            The use of his name almost made him smile like an idiot. She hardly ever used it, sticking to the formal “Your Majesty” most of the time. This was the first time she’d said his name since their time alone on the road, and he found that he’d missed the sound of it from her lips.

            “May I come in?” he asked, pleasantly surprised to hear his voice was even.

            A look of uncertainty passed over Shae’s face before she took a few steps back and opened the door wider so that he could enter. It struck him that it was the first time since Duncan was born that he was in her bedchamber. He must be the worst husband ever. Then again, Shae probably would prefer it if he never entered the room again.

            She was closing the door behind them, and looking expectantly at him as he stood in the middle of the room taking in the changes she’d made to it since the last time he’d been there. There weren’t many, to be fair. Mainly a couple of painted portraits of Duncan on the wall and a little miniature of him on a table.

            “Did you want something?” Shae finally prodded as he said nothing.

            “I wanted to speak with you,” Alistair said, turning around to face her. “It’s something we’ve not really done since we got back.”

            “Was there not a better time of the day for this?” She was definitely annoyed, crossing her arms over her chest. Which made her robe slip open slightly to reveal part of a perfectly shaped breast.  Alistair promptly forgot what he was there for.

            “I… Ah. Yes? No? Maybe. I don’t know!” _Get a grip._ The sight of her in that excuse of a robe was incredibly distracting. The likelihood that she was naked underneath it was outright damning. How was he to seduce his wife if he couldn’t be in the same room as her without turning into a blabbering fool? Shae was staring at him as if he’d grown two heads. And possibly a tail. Or horns. She probably imagined him with horns. Her eyes narrowed. Definitely horns.

            She sighed, and Alistair helplessly noted that it made her robe open up even more. This time she noticed him staring though, and glanced down. With a gasp she realised what he’d been looking at and pulled the robe together, tying the sash tighter. Her cheeks were blushing furiously as she raised her head to glare at him again.

            “I’m sorry?” he said, feeling sheepish. It had been bad of him to stare, but he couldn’t quite shake the thought of her being naked under that robe.

            “Why are you here?” Shae asked again, getting increasingly frustrated as he failed to answer her very basic question.

            “I think we should try for another child.” The words slipped out before he could stop himself, and he was nearly as shocked by them as Shae seemed to be. Because that wasn’t why he was there at all.

            Shae blinked, looking uncertain. “What? Right now?”

            “No. No! No, not now.” Alistair quickly said. “Some day. When we’re both ready.” Or never, since this hadn’t been part of the plan at all.

            “Because now would be the right time,” Shae admitted quietly, her dark blue eyes avoiding his.

            “Oh.” He felt horrible. This really wasn’t anything like he’d imagined their conversation. Suggesting trying for another child hadn’t even been on his agenda. He wanted to seduce his wife, not go back to their old ways where she acted like them being together was a chore.

            “How about,” he finally said, as he found his voice again. “We start with having dinner together tomorrow?”

            “Why?”

            Alistair sighed. “Because I meant what I said when I wanted us to get to know each other more. I want this marriage to be better. We were slowly getting there, but since we’ve been back home things have gone back to the way they were, and I don’t want that.”

            “Okay,” Shae agreed. “Dinner tomorrow.”

            “Great!” Alistair was smiling broadly now, so much that his face nearly hurt. He hadn’t realised how worried he had been that she might say no. Feeling rather excited, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips, only to realise what he’d done as she gasped and took a step backwards. Why was he determined to ruin every advance he made?

            “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” Before he could continue apologising, Shae surprised him by coming back to him and pressing her lips to his. The feeling of her soft body against his was enticing, and he groaned against her mouth, wrapping his arms around her. He had no idea why she was kissing him, but he wasn’t about to question it.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos - it means the world to me! New chapter today, and in time for once!
> 
> A little bit of NSFW in this chapter. I'm still new to the rules, so not sure if I need to warn before the chapters that contain it (or is it okay since the whole fic is rated M?)

* * *

 

Alistair’s lips on hers, his hands on her back and his chest against her body. Shae wasn’t entirely sure why she had thrown herself at him, but she suspected that it had to do with how alone she had felt since returning to Denerim. After their relative friendliness on the road, coming back home to her empty chambers had felt lonelier than ever. Seeing him in her room tonight had made her realise that she’d actually missed him.    

            As worried as she was about getting hurt if she allowed herself to care for Alistair, she was equally tired of being alone. Always being on her guard. Never letting anyone close. Maybe it was time to give Alistair a chance. He did seem sincere in his wanting to make their marriage a better one. And it frightened her how much she wanted that too.

            She’d dreamt of kissing him ever since the drunk kiss in the tavern weeks ago, and now it seemed she couldn’t stop. They were all hands and lips, Alistair moving his hands over her back and shoulders, down to her hips, while Shae wrapped her arms around his shoulders to bury her fingers in the hair at his neck. Alistair kissed and nipped at her lips until she opened up, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Feeling his tongue sweep in and touch her own caused a rush of pleasure, and she moaned against him.

            The sound made Alistair pull her closer, and she could feel the swell of his erection against her abdomen. Knowing that she was the reason for his state made her feel giddy, and she couldn’t stop herself from moving against him, eliciting a groan. Alistair moved away from her mouth, trailing kisses along her jawline and down her neck. Shae shivered and held him tighter as he nibbled on the sensitive skin where her neck met her shoulder. Noticing her reaction, Alistair sucked, kissed and nibbled until she was moaning in his arms.

            Shae yelped in surprise as Alistair cupped her bottom and hoisted her up, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist to secure herself. Finding herself eye-level with him they stared at each other for a moment, their breaths mingling. Alistair’s amber eyes were dark and glittering, and Shae almost forgot to breathe, he was so handsome. He took a few long steps across the room until her back was against the flat wood of the door, his hips pinning her against it. With his hands now free he buried them in her long hair, cupping the back of her head as he placed long, deep, lingering kisses on her mouth.

            The sensation was almost too much. Shae held on to him for dear life, returning the kiss with all the pent up feelings she’d buried during their years together. Their position pushed his hardness against her hot, wet core with only the cloth of his breeches separating them. Whenever Alistair kissed her particularly deeply, he would grind his hips and rub against her most sensitive spot, making her moan every time.

            One of Alistair’s hands came down around her shoulder and slowly caressed down along the front of her robe, carefully slipping inside the opening to touch her skin. He stopped just shy of her breasts, moving back up to her shoulder again, the fabric of the robe falling slightly to the side, but hitching on her shoulder. Alistair stopped kissing her for a moment, and leaned his forehead against hers, as if he was waiting for permission.

            Shae bit her lower lip, feeling strangely shy all of a sudden. Which was an odd feeling really, considering that she had her legs wrapped around his waist and his hips grinding against her. With a small roll of her shoulder, the fabric tumbled down her arm, exposing one round breast. Alistair straightened a little, allowing himself a better view. She could see him struggling to swallow, before his eyes came back up to hers.

            “Maker, you’re beautiful,” he breathed, and his words made her body tingle in response.

            Looking back down, he slowly trailed his fingertips from her shoulder down along her chest and over her breast, the middle finger rubbing lightly over the nipple. Shae moaned and leaned her head back against the door. Alistair was breathing deeply as he palmed her breast, grabbing it and massaging gently. He leaned his head down and was just about to take the nipple in his mouth when a soft knock sounded on the door. They both froze, staring at each other in shock.

            Shae wasn’t sure whether she wanted to scream in frustration or pretend she hadn’t heard the knock and just keep kissing her husband. Alistair was just looking at her, quirking an eyebrow in question.

            “My lady?” a female voice called from the other side of the door, and Shae recognised it.

            “It’s Duncan’s nanny,” she whispered to Alistair, unwrapping her legs from around his waist. He nodded, and with a quiet groan he gently set her down on the floor.

            Pulling her robe back together and re-tying the sash, she ran her fingers through her hair a few times, hoping to undo some of the mess Alistair’s hands had created. Alistair was standing a few steps away, watching her, an expression of mixed amusement and frustration on his face. When she finally felt somewhat presentable, Shae cracked the door open and peered outside.

            “Oh, my lady! I’m so sorry to wake you.” Considering her unkempt appearance, Shae couldn’t blame the nanny for assuming that she’d been asleep.

            She opened the door wider. “No, that’s alright, Marie. Is something wrong with Duncan?”

            “He’s had a nightmare and he’s inconsolable, I thought perhaps if you came to him…” The nanny trailed off as she caught sight of Alistair, and she paled, bobbing a quick curtsy.

            “Marie,” Alistair said with a courteous nod.

            “Your majesty!” she squeaked. “I did not realise that you were… were…” She swallowed. “Here.”

            Shae knew exactly what the nanny thought had been going on as she eyed Shae’s tousled hair and Alistair’s half-opened shirt. Maker, Shae hadn’t even realised that she’d done that. The worst part was that she wasn’t even wrong, they had been doing exactly what it looked like they had been doing. It was mortifying. Somehow, Shae felt nearly exactly the same way she had that time her mother had caught her kissing a boy for the first time in Highever.

            “I will go to him right now,” Shae said, trying not to blush. This wasn’t Highever, and Marie wasn’t her mother. And Alistair was her husband, if she wanted to kiss him she bloody well would. That thought did make her blush.

            The nanny nodded, and quickly disappeared. Shae turned back to Alistair, not entirely sure how to act around him anymore. They were entering new territory, and she had no idea what to expect or how to behave.

She motioned towards the door. “I should probably…”

            Alistair surprised her by smiling. “Of course.” He moved towards her, leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her lips before she could react. “Go take care of our son. I will see you tomorrow.”

            Shae nodded, not quite sure what to think. If she was to listen to the other women of her acquaintance a man denied his pleasure would be angry, yet Alistair seemed as happy as ever. She watched him as he walked across the sitting room to the door leading to his bedchambers. Before he closed the door behind him, he turned around, saw her looking and winked. Shae blushed, and turned around.

            A few minutes later she entered her son’s chambers to find him crying in his bed. Marie, the nanny, was sitting next to him trying to console him, to no avail. Moving into the room, Shae took Marie’s place as the older woman moved away and pulled her son into her lap. At three he still allowed her this comfort, and she held his little body in her arms as he cried.

            “There, there,” she said quietly, her lips against the dark, auburn hair at the top of his head.

            Duncan quieted down after a little while, his arms snaking around her waist. Shae sat with him for some time, just enjoying the closeness. When he was finally relaxing, she held him out in front of her so that she could look him in the eyes. They were the same amber colour as his father’s.

            “Bad dream?” she asked.

            He nodded, rubbing his eyes with his hands. Every now and then he would have night terrors, but he never seemed to remember what they were about. Shae had had them herself as a child, and she’d eventually outgrown it, so she expected the same to happen with Duncan. Even so, it still pained her to see him like this.

            “Can I sleep in your room?” he asked, his voice tired.

            “Of course.” Shae suspected that it wasn’t very queen-like to let your child sleep in your bed, but she wasn’t about to deny her son the comfort of her presence after a bad dream.

            They walked back to her chambers in silence. Alistair must have fallen asleep, because she saw no light from below his door. Once in her room, she crawled into bed with Duncan and he fell asleep almost immediately. It took Shae a little bit longer, as she kept thinking about what had happened with Alistair earlier. She’d never allowed him to touch her like that in the past, and she almost regretted it.


	10. Chapter 9

The next morning when Shae entered the sitting room she was surprised to find Alistair still present. Normally he was long gone by the time she ventured out of her room, but this morning he was sitting casually on a settee with a pile of papers in his lap and one in his hand which he was reading. He was such a handsome man, tall and muscular with broad shoulders. She liked his blond hair and amber eyes, the straight nose and full lips that were always close to a smile.

            “Daddy!” Duncan whooped as he caught sight of his father.

            Alistair looked up at the sound, and a he started smiling broadly.

“My little tyke!” Setting the papers aside he stood up as Duncan bounded towards him, catching the boy as he came close and hoisting him up in the air. Duncan giggled and for a moment the two of them were just beaming at each other. Shae’s chest tightened. Watching Alistair and Duncan together always made her feel like her emotions were trying to choke her somehow.

            Still holding Duncan in his arms Alistair turned towards her, still smiling. “I thought we might spend the morning together. All three of us,” he said, sounding almost uncertain, as if he was worried that she might say no. “I had them prepare breakfast for us here in the sitting room.”

            Until that moment, Shae hadn’t even noticed that one of the tables had been cleared of its regular contents and instead was filled with various breakfast foods. She’d been too focused on Alistair. As the delicious smell of freshly baked bread tickled her nose she realised that she was actually quite hungry, and the idea of the three of them having breakfast together as a family was far too enticing to decline.

            “I hope you don’t mind?” Alistair asked, and Shae had to contend herself with shaking her head, because she wasn’t sure that her voice wouldn’t break at that moment. This wasn’t just a rare occasion, it was actually the first time they would be having breakfast together.

            Alistair let Duncan down and the boy scampered over to where a table was set for the three of them and climbed up on one of the chairs. Shae prepared him a plate of food and set it in front of him before making one for herself. When they were all seated at the table she dared a look at her husband who was happily chatting away with Duncan. This all felt so strange, yet so right. Duncan was obviously loving his parents being in the same room, sharing their breakfast with him, as was evident by his big smile and continuous excited chatter.

            Shae ate in silence, just enjoying watching the two main men in her life. When she felt a wet nose buff against her leg she reached down and gave her Mabari, Bailey, a piece of bacon. As was his custom, he brought it over to Arcane and dropped it next to her where she was lying with the pups, then he returned for a second piece for himself.

            “Sneaky dog!” Alistair chuckled as he watched Bailey. “Does he do that every morning? Because he will get some from me when I eat alone.”

            “No one ever said Mabaris were stupid,” Shae replied with a smile.

            They smiled at each other for a moment, and Shae felt a light flutter in her stomach. No no no. She was not going to have feelings for her husband! She quickly looked away under the pretence of answering one of Duncan’s questions. This new approach to their marriage was definitely a dangerous path to take.

            As they finished their breakfast, Alistair gathered his papers and gave her an apologetic look. “I’m afraid I will have to attend some meetings and other dreadfully boring things. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

            Shae nodded. Right then, dinner alone with Alistair felt dangerous, but if she was honest with herself she was tired of their marriage the way that it was. Maybe she could somehow have a better marriage and still safeguard her heart?

            “I need to talk to you about a couple of things as well. The plan was to do so yesterday evening, but I was…” Alistair shot her a lopsided grin. “Distracted.”

            “Of course,” Shae said, wishing that she didn’t blush quite so easily. “I will see you tonight.”

            Alistair kneeled down before Duncan and ruffled the boy’s dark, auburn hair. “I will see you later, tyke.”

            “Bye, daddy!” Duncan beamed back, always loving his father’s company.

            After Alistair had gone, Shae took Duncan’s hand and lead him out in the hallway. “Come, let’s go outside and play.”

 

*****

 

As the evening approached, Shae felt herself grow more and more nervous about the prospect of spending time alone with Alistair again. The last time she had done so, she had literally flung herself at him, and had they not been interrupted, she wasn’t sure quite how far she would have let it go. It was nearly time now, and she was anxiously pacing around her bedroom, having taken refuge there when the maids had arrived to prepare the table for them.

            Her lady-in-waiting had helped her get ready, and she was dressed in a simple, yet beautiful dress of dark blue velvet, the shade bringing out the same colour in her eyes. Her long, auburn hair was pulled back into a large bun at the back of her neck, fine hairpins with pearl tips used to keep it in place. She knew that she looked nice like this, but that had nothing to do with her fretting.

            When a knock sounded on the door she almost yelped, her nerves so fraught with tension. Taking a calming breath, she walked across the room and opened the door, finding Alistair on the other side. He was wearing a pair of dark trousers and a white, long-sleeved shirt, looking very relaxed. It took him a moment to say anything as his eyes swept over her, then he smiled.

            “You look beautiful tonight.” He seemed to catch himself, and hastened to add, “Not that you’re not always beautiful.”

            “Thank you.” It was odd, but that little bit of Alistair being well… himself, was all she needed to relax a little.

            Then she walked into the sitting room, and it all came back, nearly crushing her. The room had been turned into a romantic scene with an obscene amount of lit candles. A table had been pulled out into the middle of the room, set for two. Was that rose petals spread across the white tablecloth?

            Alistair was standing behind her and leaned down to quietly speak to her, his hot breath fanning her ear. “It’s a bit much, isn’t it? I told them to make it a nice dinner, but I think the servants may have taken the idea and ran with it.”

            “Straight into the Void,” Shae murmured making Alistair laugh. He stood so close that she could feel the sound reverberating through his chest.

            “Well, I hope that the food is good at least,” he was still chuckling as he moved over to the table and pulled out a chair for her. As she came over to sit down his eyes fastened on a fur throw lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. The lit fireplace. In summer. “That… That hasn’t been there before, has it?”

            Shae shook her head as Alistair adjusted the chair for her and walked to the other side of the table and sat down opposite her. “No, it’s new for tonight.”

            Alistair quirked an eyebrow. “Why would they…?” Then he seemed to realise exactly why the servants might have put a throw in front of the fireplace. “Oh.”

            Deciding that she was most definitely not going to blush, Shae focused on the plate in front of her. Removing the lid that had been placed to keep it hot, she found a delicious meal containing of a good steak and steamed vegetables.

            “Wine?” Shae looked up at the question, then nodded slowly. She wasn’t entirely certain that wine was a good idea, since she already felt heady just from sitting across from Alistair, who looked very handsome in the flickering light from the candles.

            “You said that you had something you wanted to talk to me about,” she said after taking a sip of the wine.

            “Ah, yes.” Alistair didn’t look entirely happy. “It has come to my knowledge that there may be Venatori in the palace.”

            Shae put down her glass and stared at him. “What? Isn’t that the Tevinter cult we’ve heard rumours about?”

            “It is,” Alistair agreed. “The Inquisition has had dealings with them before, so I’ve sent them a request for help. I hope to hear back from them soon.”

            “What do you suppose they want?”

            “I’m not sure, but I doubt it’s anything good. I want you to take extra care until this threat is dealt with. Keep Duncan close as much as possible.” Alistair met her eyes. “I couldn’t stand it if something was to happen to either of you.”

            Shae had to look away from the honest concern in his gaze. “No one will ever harm Duncan,” she promised.

            “Oh, that reminds me!” Alistair jumped up and disappeared into his room. Not long after he came back out with a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Looking somewhat embarrassed he handed it over to her. “I had these commissioned when we first returned to Denerim, as a gift. But with the current threats, it seems to be more useful than I had originally anticipated.”

            “Alistair, it’s… It’s beautiful.” Shae ran her fingers along the polished wood of the longbow. It was a dragonthorn bow with some of the best craftsmanship she had ever seen.

            “Use it to keep you and Duncan safe.”

            Shae put the bow to the side and stared up at her husband. “No one will get close to him. I promise.”

            Taking her hand, Alistair pulled her to her feet so that she was standing before him. They were so close that her chest was lightly brushing against his and she could feel the heat that always seemed to emanate from him. The way he was watching her made her skin tingle as if it wanted nothing more than his touch. There was a fire in his eyes, and her breath hitched as he lifted a hand to gently cup the side of her head, his fingers reaching into the hair at the back of her neck and the thumb gently caressing her cheek.

            When she said nothing, didn’t protest, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. The touch was feather light, and so enticing that Shae found herself swaying forward into him. His lips brushed against hers again, lingered for just a moment longer this time, and she reached up to grab a hold of his shirt lapels, needing to steady herself.

            Once more, Alistair let his lips move gently against hers, only this time he continued lightly kissing and nipping at her. Desperate for more, Shae pressed herself against him, and was happy to hear him moan as her body rubbed against his. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss as he used his free hand to grab her bottom and push her even tighter against him.

            Shae moved her hands up around his neck, letting herself get swept away on the current of feelings the kisses evoked. She was disappointed when Alistair lifted his head to stare at her.

            “I… This wasn’t why I got you that bow,” he said, looking concerned. “I really didn’t expect anything in return.”

            Shae shook her head in amazement. Sometimes her husband really was quite daft. “Shut up,” she said. “Just kiss me.”


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so everything is a bit of a mess at the moment, so I'm not able to keep up with my original schedule for posting. I think I will have to start doing bi-weekly chapters, rather than every week. I feel like I'm behind on everything at the moment. So many things going on!  
> 1) We're in the process of buying a home.  
> 2) I'm having awful writer's block and I swear everything I write at the moment is awful - so apologies for that.  
> 3) My internet is going up and down, usually staying down for days at a time.
> 
> This chapter is a bit shorter than I had wanted, but I'm afraid it's what I have for you right now. It may be a bit longer than two weeks until the next one sadly, because I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow. I will resume posting again as soon as I return though! Feel free to pop by on Tumblr to say hi if you're on there, since I'll still be able to read it from my tablet. (I'm SpellboundSaga on there.) Also planning to use some of my vacation time to catch up on some reading - there are so many interesting looking fics out there that I want to check out!
> 
> As always - thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. It warms my heart, it really does!

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Alistair didn’t need to be asked twice. He bowed his head and captured her lips in a searing kiss that sent tiny sparks through her, to her very core. Shae pressed her body closer to his, feeling like she couldn’t quite get close enough. The dinner lay forgotten on the table as Alistair kissed a trail of hot kisses down her neck. Clinging to him for support, Shae moaned out load as he nipped at the particularly sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder.

            The hand on her bottom squeezed and pulled her closer, and she could feel the evidence of his own excitement against her abdomen. As before, the knowledge that she was the cause of it pleased her greatly. She wanted this man to want her, she wanted to be the object of his desires. It wasn’t something she had ever expected, or longed to want, but she did. Maker help her, but she did.

            Feeling feverish, and not daring to stop to think too much, Shae moved her hands down to reach underneath Alistair’s shirt. When she ran her hands up along his back, her fingertips against his skin – which was surprisingly soft, somehow she’d expected men to have coarser skin – Alistair shivered. Emboldened, she raked her nails lightly over his back, and was rewarded with another shiver and a moan.

            Lifting his head from her neck to stare at her, she was spellbound by the heat in Alistair’s eyes. Without saying anything, he took a step back, and she missed the heat of his body against hers. She immediately forgave him though, when he pulled the white shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. The flickering light from the many candles in the room played over his skin as she admired the hard, flat planes of his body. She could see the muscles playing under the skin as he lifted his hand to cup her face.

            Tilting her face back up to his, he placed a heated kiss on her lips and she found herself melting against him again. Part of her wished that she was bare too, she would love to feel his skin against hers. Alistair startled her by lifting her up as he had the previous night, and she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist for support. She wasn’t a particularly large woman, being fairly short and slender, but it was still surprising to her how very easily he seemed to be able to pick her up. Maybe he liked it because it brought her to his level and he didn’t have to crane his neck, she mused.

            Alistair was smiling at her, and she realised that she was clinging to him not only with her legs but also with her arms held tightly around his neck.

            “Don’t worry,” he said hoarsely. “I promise I won’t drop you.”

            “I didn’t think you would,” Shae muttered, but when he started walking she still tightened her grip around him. The action made him groan, as it made her move against his erection which was nestled neatly between her thighs.

            “I’m sorry,” Shae said quickly. “Did I hurt you?”

            Alistair stopped, now standing in the middle of their joint sitting room, and gave her an amused look. “No, you didn’t _hurt_ me.”

            As if to prove his point, he used his hands on her bottom to grind her against him and Shae gasped as his erection rubbed against the sensitive spot at the apex of her thighs. Alistair captured the moan with his lips, kissing her long and deep as he continued slowly grinding her against him. It was a slow and sweet torture, and Shae found that she was losing herself in his touch more and more.

            She hadn’t even noticed that he’d started walking again, and was surprised when he opened the door to his bedchamber and brought her inside. Shocked, she stopped kissing him and looked around the room. In all their years as husband and wife, she’d never been in his private chambers. It was a fairly simple room, dominated by a large four-poster bed made of dark wood. Its colour scheme was simple, mainly dark wood, blue and silver.

            “I’m sorry,” Alistair said, but he hadn’t let go of her. “Maybe I’m being presumptive…”

            “No…” Shae shook her head, then met his worried gaze. “It’s just that I’ve never been in here.”

            “No?” He looked surprised, then a bit guilty as he must have realised why that was. In all their years, he’d always come to her bedchamber, she’d never come to his.

            As memories of their shared past came flooding back, Shae didn’t feel particularly excited anymore, and she wriggled a little until Alistair let her down. She’d never been to his chamber, or suggested his chamber, because it had been where she figured that he’d brought the Hero of Ferelden. The love of his life. Suddenly feeling cold, she rubbed her arms while casting a wary glance at Alistair’s large bed.

            Alistair was standing next to her, shirtless, and looking somewhat uneasy. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed. “Look, Shae… I’m sorry. I let things get out of hand tonight.”

            “Don’t worry about it,” Shae said, her voice quiet. She felt small and insignificant in that moment. It was difficult to take her eyes off the bed, the bed he’d shared with _her_. When she did manage to look away, she caught sight of his old Grey Warden armour. It was sitting proudly on a dummy, even if he never wore it anymore. Not that it wasn’t something to be proud of. But right that moment it felt as if it was taunting her.

            “No,” Alistair said, and she turned to look at him at the forceful tone. “I want you to know…”

            He sighed, running his hand through his hair again. “I am serious about this. _Us._ Our marriage. As much as I want us to have…” He faltered for a moment. “Have a better love life. It’s not all that I want. We should get to know each other better. I think we owe it to ourselves, and to Duncan. So, maybe we should wait with the… the other things. And just focus on getting to know each other better first.”

            Shae nodded numbly before looking back at the Grey Warden armour and then the bed. Seeming to understand where her thoughts were going, Alistair cleared his throat.

            “Also, I want you to know that I never…” He made a wry face as her head whipped back to look at him. “I never brought anyone here. No one’s been in my bedchambers.”

            “Then where did you and..?” Shae asked, frowning as she pondered this new information. Alistair opened his mouth to reply, but before he could she continued. “Actually, no. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. And I don’t care.”

            Alistair shifted from one foot to the other. “But…”

            Shae shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Good night, Alistair.”

            With that she left the room, and the last thing she heard before closing the door behind her was Alistair’s frustrated groan.


End file.
